Assertiveness

Caregivers can model assertive behavior and teach kids directly. Both methods are effective.  Parents can model assertiveness when interacting with family members, friends, making business calls, dealing with salespeople, or any person they have contact with during the course of the day.  That means that you must have a good grasp of assertiveness yourself. But, again, fortunately, it’s a skill you can learn and master.

Teach your kids directly by helping them figure out situations as they come up. If your little girl comes home from school crying because another child teased her on the bus, tell her how to handle the situation assertively.  If your little boy is being excluded from a game, coach him on how to speak up and stand up for himself, she said.

Also helpful are teaching tools. Libraries are loaded with assertiveness resources. There are books to help kids handle teasing and bullying and build a healthy self-esteem.

Assertive kids usually become assertive adults. Assertiveness fosters insight, wisdom, patience, tolerance, confidence and acceptance.  It is the necessary building block to mature and peaceful relationships between all human beings.

"I pray this article empowers you to M.A.N. up!"

Be on the lookout for my new highly anticipated book; “Don’t Let the 4 Wheels F.O.O.L. You”!!! If you have ever felt as though society has counted you out! You won’t want to miss this inspirational road map to success!

Men and Time Management

Planning is the best time saver there is. At the beginning of the week jot down your goals that you want to accomplish, fun things you want to do, work that needs to be done, and appointments to keep. Then write out a loose schedule for the week ahead, balancing it out between work, family, home, self and your other roles.

You can choose to put your action items on daily to do lists or schedule them on a calendar like appointments. How you keep track of your things to do for the week, depends on how much structure you personally like or need.

When you plan, it is helpful to schedule things for twice as long as you expect them to take. That gives you extra time for those traffic jams, interruptions, and fun, spontaneous moments. I try to plan on leaving 10 minutes earlier than I have to, for all my appointments, in case of unexpected delays.

My weekly planning session usually takes less than thirty minutes. My planning session includes gathering my papers and going through the in-box to find action items. I also plan goals, next action items for my projects, plan a two hour time alone, plan church events, and plan a date with my wife. I schedule work, study time, fun time, time with friends and family, volunteer work, and self-care time. Planning allows the important to take precedent over the urgent for once.

But, be flexible with your plan. Remember you are not a slave to your planner. It is there to serve you. If your time management system isn’t working, tweak it.

Here are some more time management tips:

1.    Know what's important to you. Figure out your values and your vision.

2.    Start delegating to family members, co-workers, professionals, and teenagers needing extra money.

3.    Learn to say no to what is not in your mission or your values.

4.    Let go of perfectionism. Not everything has to be done perfectly and some things are out of your control.

5.    Listen to audio tapes or mp3's during your commute or household tasks.

6.    Use a planner or PDA that includes a daily to do list, a weekly calendar, a monthly calendar, a listing of projects, telephone numbers and important information.

7.    Empty out your planner of the clutter and junk. Put the little pieces of paper in an in-box to go through in your weekly planning session.

8.    Keep your planner with you at all times.

9.    Do not keep a bunch of calendars around. Use only one so everything is in one place.

10.  Keep a master list of all the things you need to do, call, see, write, etc.

11.  Answer routine letters by answering them on the original. Photocopy your message for your own files then send off the original.

12.  Cut down on TV time. Plan your TV time so you only watch the shows you really wanted to see. If you are watching, clean during commercials or sew while viewing.

13.  Look at your schedule and lay out all the things you need for the next day, the night before.

14.  Tidy your desk before you leave work so it will be clean for the next session.

15.  Try to spend time on planning and important things so you are not always "putting out fires."

16.  Use a timer to keep you from spending too much time on one thing or to challenge you when you are cleaning.

17.  Relax when you are relaxing and work when you are working.

18.  Make goals and rewrite goals every few months, so you have a focus.

19.  Clear the clutter from your desk.

20.  Go through your files once a year to get rid of paper you no longer need. Saves space and time. Or go through a file each time you put something in it, to keep your files current.

21.  Get rid of things that don't work, especially pens. Save yourself some frustration.

22.  Start with the worst item on your to do list. Everything else will be a piece of cake. You also won't be thinking and dreading it while doing other tasks. Procrastination sucks out your energy.

23.  Be sure to bring things to do like reading, writing a letter, paying bills etc., when you know you will have to wait someplace.

24.  A couple of times a year, keep a time log. Jot down everything you do for a day or two. Then examine where your time does not match what is important to you.

It’s your life. If you don’t manage your time, other people will manage it for you.

"I pray this article empowers you to M.A.N. up!"

Be on the lookout for my new highly anticipated book; “Don’t Let the 4 Wheels F.O.O.L. You”!!! If you have ever felt as though society has counted you out! You won’t want to miss this inspirational road map to success!

Men & Debt

Does it sometimes seem like the dollars are slipping through your fingers while the bills just seem to keep mounting up?

It's a familiar feeling for many of us nowadays.

Sometimes, though, like most things in life, taking a step back from it all and starting to get some simple things right can make a huge difference on the big picture.

If your debts have been getting you down recently, here are 5 great ways to start slashing them today:

* First off, consider going on a "cash diet" for the next few months. Lock away some of those credit cards in a safe deposit box... or just cut them up altogether! By all means keep a low interest rate card for emergencies, but definitely rid yourself of any store cards. Why? Because they encourage you to buy junk you don't need at exorbitant rates of interest!

* If you're having difficulties with any of your lenders, approach and deal with them personally. Not only will they appreciate your initiative, but will be far more responsive down the line if you're having further repayment difficulties. The one thing that irritates them most is someone ducking and diving the problem.

* If you think you can afford to pay off any of your loans in one go, approach your lender and offer a reduced final settlement of anything between 25 and 75%. Try and get the best deal. They can only say no, and might just say yes to get some money in.

When I was deep in debt, I was fortunate to pay off a bank overdraft in this way. In fact, they proposed straight off a settlement of 75%...not me!

* Ask for a promotion at work. Believe it or not, it's estimated that one in two people who actually do this get one.

* Shop around to get the best deals on utilities like gas and electric...

A home energy audit can help save hundreds of dollars a year on heating bills. Ask your supplier who may be able to this for free or at very low cost.

"I pray this article empowers you to M.A.N. up!"

Be on the lookout for my new highly anticipated book; “Don’t Let the 4 Wheels F.O.O.L. You”!!! If you have ever felt as though society has counted you out! You won’t want to miss this inspirational road map to success!