The Balanced Man

If you are involved in an addictive relationship, your life is probably not in balance. You are probably giving most of your emotional, physical, and mental energies over to some else. To create a balanced life is to own your life. When you take responsibility for your life and happiness you always feel an increased feeling of self power. A balanced perspective on life is a prerequisite to enjoying a sense of wholeness as a complete person. There are several arenas of life that most people struggle with while attempting to create a balanced life; these life arenas include, but are no limited to, work (school), leisure, social, and personal. Creating a balanced life consists of four steps:
Step 1: Gain an awareness of your level of involvement in each arena of life.

Step 2: Choose to establish and maintain balance in your life. set goals for increasing or decreasing involvement in specific arenas.

Step 3: apply the principle of balance to your life arenas. Take steps to increase or decrease involvement in specific arenas.

Healthy relationships come from healthy expectations, while unhealthy relationships come from unhealthy expectations. If you are in an unhealthy relationship it may be very difficult for you to know what healthy expectations. The faulty belief system regarding yourself and relationships have helped you to develop distorted views of what is appropriate to expect or not expect in a relationship. A healthy relationship is reality based. You have realistic expectations of what the other can provide to you. You are only able to have healthy expectations about relationships when you have healthy expectations about yourself. Within a healthy relationship you can expect to:

	Be accepted for who you are. -Grow and change. -Come to know yourself better.
	Be respected, valued, and appreciated. -Maintain your individuality and sense of selfhood.
	Share some common values.
	Share some interests and expectations. Have your life enhanced by the presence of the other.

Unhealthy expectations come from unmet needs of security, completeness, and validation. You will often experience chaos, insecurity, and unpredictability. During your childhood you may have, experience feeling helpless and powerless which made you feel that you need someone else to make you happy and whole. You subsequently expect your friends or partner to fill your life with fun and excitement. There is a strong tendency to focus on what could happen in the relationship instead of focusing on what is going on presently. The product of relationships becomes more important than the development.

To change the outcomes of your relationships you will have to change the expectations you tie to these relationships. The steps to change unhealthy expectations into healthy ones include:

Step 1: Understand your expectations regarding your friends, partner , and relationship.

Step 2: Challenge your unhealthy or unrealistic expectation.

Step 3: Choose alternative ways to meet your needs for security, completeness, and validation.

Step 4: Learn and reinforce healthy expectations.

Step 5: Evaluate your progress and reward your success.


"I pray this article empowers you to M.A.N. up!"

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