Forgiving the Abuser

It is necessary for the client to forgive the person who abused them! It IS a process, however.

• Help the client take their time. Help the client to not rush to forgive. Whether or not forgiveness will ever happen, it is not appropriate in the early stages of recovery.

• Help the client protect themselves. Beware of the client getting trapped by a sense of pity. Help the client not yield to the inclination to protect or take care of the perpetrator. Even if the client cares deeply for their abuser. The perpetrator is not in need of protection.

• Help the client explore their feelings around considering or wanting to forgive their abuser.

• Help the client understand that they can change their mind. Recovery is a dynamic process. Things sometime change. What seems appropriate at one point in their recovery may be counterproductive or irrelevant at another.

• Help the client understand that forgiveness isn't "all or nothing."

• Help the client understand that the process of forgiving a person should not take the form of condoning the abuse.

"I pray this article empowers you to M.A.N. up!"

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