Adult Losses: To Childhood Abuse

Loss of memory of childhood. One way of dealing with the pain is to put what has happened out of the mind. If child has to deny or forget what is happening to him in order to survive the abusive situation, he may find, as an adult, that he has literally lost his childhood

Loss of healthy social contact. When a child feels that the only safety is in isolation, it seriously impairs his ability to respond to others. Protecting himself from abusers by keeping to himself, he also misses out on the possibility of positive, healthy social interactions-with peers and adults. This isolation is often reinforced by the perpetrator. As a way of keeping the abuse secret the abuser may, usually successful, attempt to isolate the child form other people.

Loss of opportunity to play. If you ask people what children do with their time, the most frequent answer would be "play." This is not true for many abused children. True play is interactive and requires playmates. He cannot relax or trust others enough to enjoy playing. Easy, active, spontaneous playfulness feels too much like loss of control.

Loss of opportunity to learn. In the course of play children learn to communicate, cooperate, compete, problem solve, coordinate, create and behave in age-appropriate ways.

Loss of control over one's body. The most intimate aspect of oneself is one's body. Sexual abuse violates a child's sense of his himself in the most basic way. Someone else takes control of his body against his will.

Loss of normal loving. Childhood should be a time when every child learns that he is good, lovable, wanted, welcomed, and that information, understanding, and protection are available from loving adults. child abuse prevents all of this.

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