Therapeutic Issues and Concerns for Men

Some of the reasons men come up with to avoid seeking therapy:

• "I should be able to do it myself."
• "If I go for psychological help, I'm admitting failure."

• "It's not that bad." "Its not serious enough to require treatment."

• "It's too expensive. I can't afford it."

• "I don't want people to know I'm in therapy. Everyone will think I'm wacko."

• "I don't want some shrink telling me what to do." "I'm afraid it will completely change my personality."

The fact that there are many different helpful therapeutic styles does not mean that all therapies are helpful. Not everything that is called therapy is therapeutic-some so called therapeutic practices are, at best, counterproductive for the incest survivor. At worst, they can be abusive.

1. Beware of re-creating the abuse. As an incest survivor, they must never be re victimized. It does not matter whether the victimization is actual or symbolic, it is harmful. Any role-playing, psychodrama, guided fantasy, or other techniques that simulates the original abusive situation with the client in the role of victim will be frightening and destructive to recovery.
2. Beware of inappropriate touching. Part of the recovery process demands that the client is in complete charge of their body. They have the absolute right to decide who can touch them, and set limits on when and how they are touched. This extends to hugs, pats on the shoulder, and even handshakes.
3. Beware of being authoritative. A great deal of harm was done to the client when someone in their life insisted that they knew what was best for them. Recovery means being in ultimate charge of their lives.
4. Beware of being unresponsive. There are some therapists who provide virtually no feedback to their clients. The client is left to imagine what the therapist is thinking, projecting his own ideas onto the counselor. The client has lived much of their life in a kind of isolation having to fall back on their own resources which often leaves them with many unanswered questions.
5. Beware of being critical and judgment. The client is an expert at self-criticism and negative self-judgments it will only be counterproductive or abusive if you in turn do the same.

"I pray this article empowers you to M.A.N. up!"

Be on the lookout for my new highly anticipated book; “Don’t Let the 4 Wheels F.O.O.L. You”!!! If you have ever felt as though society has counted you out! You won’t want to miss this inspirational road map to success!